There are a lot of people who have worked under a toxic boss. Some might not realize that they’re working for one. While others try to shrug it off saying that they could end up with worse since their current boss isn’t as bad as others.
I for one, have experienced it first hand. It was my senior year in college and just a few days before my graduation when I was hired for my first corporate job. It was a food company and my favorite Chinese restaurant since I was a kid. Like most graduates or soon to be graduates, I was anxious but at the same time, excited to start working and earn my own money. Originally, I applied for an Accounting Assistant position, but later on was assigned to work at their main office as an Audit Assistant. I had minimal knowledge of what an audit assistant does. Before my scheduled interview, I tried to research more about it so I could somehow answer their questions and pretend that I knew what I was doing – which I didn’t but let’s talk about that in a different post.
Fortunately, the main office was just near our house. I could even just walk going to work if I wake up early enough – which I usually don’t. The first few days were okay, I managed to organize the files that were turned over to me. They taught me the computations I needed to learn, how to use their system and the daily reports I had to check. Everything was fine, the pay, benefits, and perks were okay for a first corporate job. However, after a few weeks it gradually turned into a job where I would go home crying because I couldn’t bear it anymore.
Although everything else was something a new graduate would be thankful for, the environment was not. The work per se wasn’t that hard and I’m sure I would have done a better job if I stayed longer. However, after seeing how my boss treated her employees and how she manages things it showed me that it was not the place I wanted to be.
Some of her rules were a bit over the top and if you make a mistake she’ll humiliate you in front of the other departments. To give you an idea, here are some of those absurd rules:
- You can’t go behind her when she’s working, so we can’t get our files in the room behind her unless she leaves.
- You can’t look at her, not even a glance unless she’s talking to you. She’ll scold you when she sees you looking at her direction.
The mere sound of her footsteps made us nervous. When she’s there, I remember going to the comfort room just to try to motivate myself to keep going. I even kept telling myself “If your sister can survive law school, you can survive this.” But I couldn’t succumb to the idea that I’d spend more weeks or months in that kind of work culture. After 2 months, I handed in my resignation. Although, a few days before I submitted my resignation, she already had an idea that I was planning on resigning. She asked me the reason why and tried to talk me out of it. Of course, I didn’t tell her the whole truth because I was afraid she’d throw a fit and humiliate me in front of everyone else.
My first corporate job experience working under a toxic boss was a bit traumatizing, but I’ve learned valuable lessons throughout the whole ordeal.
1. Never try to lead by fear
Instilling fear only creates a team that works in a constant state of anxiety. Yelling at them or humiliating them in front of other people does nothing but lower their morale. As a result, they won’t be able to give their best and become counter-productive.
2. Be strict but don’t degrade others
Being strict is okay especially if you have subordinates who lack discipline. But calling them names and humiliating them is not. I’ve always been a stern believer that you can always say things in a nice way. I’m not saying I’m a saint though. I do get frustrated but I try my best to phrase my words in such a way that won’t bring out negative feelings.
3. Respect the people who work for you
As the saying goes “Respect begets respect.” Just because you’re in a position of authority doesn’t mean you already gained their genuine respect. Treat them the way you want to be treated and they’ll gladly do the same.
4. Your emotional well-being is more important
There would be people who wouldn’t understand what you’re going through and the reason why you want to resign. Some would even make you feel guilty, saying you’re just weak. But their opinion doesn’t matter. No one deserves to be treated like dirt. It’s not worth spending more time in a place that doesn’t value or respect you.
After I left my first corporate job, it felt like a thorn was pulled out of my chest. Even though the thought of starting from scratch and looking for a new job was terrifying especially considering what I’ve been through, it was better than spending more days working there. I’m not encouraging you to resign, that decision is completely up to you. I’m simply sharing my experience working for a toxic boss, the impact it had, and the lessons I’ve learned.
Are you someone who used to work for a toxic boss or is currently working for one? Feel free to share your insights regarding the lessons you’ve learned in the comments below or send us an email through our contact page.
